First, the definition of libido: 1. Sexual desire. 2. The energy of the sexual drive as a component of the life instinct. So yes, Ladies, sex is a birth right!
Libido can be important to our quality of life and part of our zest for life. Mine took a beating for a year from a high place and then happily returned. When it was back and in full swing, I realized vitality value of flexing my sexual muscles and the sparkling facet it represents in a robust life.
Have you noticed a shift in yours? Do you know what brings it up? And when it is vigorous, how do you feel? If you have decided that you are D O N E done, that’s fine. But please recall when your erotic energy was high and acted upon and consider trying to revive it by deciphering the cause of it waning. We are in this together, so press on!
According to the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) 1 in 3 women in the US experiences low sex drive (hypoactive sexual desire disorder). “Symptoms can include a decreased desire to have sex, fewer sexual thoughts and fantasies as well as sexual responsiveness”. Psychological, physical and environmental issues are to blame.
There are three major endocrine shifting female life events when libido takes a hit; postpartum, perimenopause and menopause. Hormone roller coaster rides can strip us of our sexy causing issues like weight gain, mood swings, insomnia, vaginal dryness (which leads to painful and avoidance of sex) and simply feeling blah. Endometriosis, pelvic pain, poor body image or incontinence curb our kill our erotic appetite too. Fortunately, there is help with hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and vaginal therapy and treatments.
Caring for children or aging parents, financial difficulties, work stress or relationship issues can weigh heavily on sexual vivacity. Is your life running rough shod over you sapping you of time or energy to engage in passion play? Alcohol, tobacco, anti-depressants and other meds can also take a toll. STDs and the physical manifestation of the disease and the unfortunate stigma attached or personal trauma can rob us of our desire to be sexual too.
The brain is the largest sex organ of the body and feminine erotic energy is strongly tied to our heads and hearts. Our attitudes about sex and interestingly those of our peers, influence our sexual approach. What sensual and sexual permission do we give ourselves? Do you explore, experiment and ask for what you want? Communication is key. Are church and state invited to your bedroom activities?
Self-love can absolutely impact our quality of sexual satisfaction. A friend’s relationship recently collapsed because his fiancé couldn’t get around her own poor body image. He loved her body and soul, but her self-deprecation and insecurity ruined their sex life and their relationship. Do you like your body and think you are sexy and desirable? Or do self-deprecate? French and Italian women have mastered a positive outlook – they highlight and accentuate their best feature(s) and don’t give a second thought to the rest, so they ooze confidence and allure.
An interdependent blend of physical, emotional, environmental and mind set coalesce as to how we show up as our erotic selves. Humans are highly sexual creatures, engineered to attract, desire, give and receive pleasure. You have the power to make it bloom, push it off the radar.
Should you care? Extensive female interviews reveals the importance of sex drive in life greatly differs. It is a universal yet very personal thing. If yours is low and it is negatively impacting your life, seek help. Managing low libido is something to be done with medical professionals; Ob-Gyns, Urologists, Uro-gynecologists, menopause specialists, sex therapists or even religious counselors.
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