We can easily let long-term commitment or having kids be the assassin to our passion. See below for further activities and actions to consider to keep us Jonesing for our partners.
- Lower expectations to reach higher peaks: NYC sex therapist Carlo Borea says “Sex is an important and integral part of a fulfilling, healthy relationship. Having goal-oriented sex; striving for orgasm and pushing for it in your partner leads to anxiety, frustration and boredom. Instead, explore sex as a way to enhance love, connectedness, compassion and trust. Since it’s the beginning of the year, make a commitment to let go of unhelpful expectations, rules and judgments like:
– Your partner should like what you like;
– You/your partner should have sex more (or less) often;
– You/your partner should have an orgasm (or erection) every time.
– And it is encouraged to speak up for what you want.
Communication is always key.”
- DIVERGE from habit: be aware of often recycled murmurings and usual approaches. Routine is a passion fire extinguisher. Get creative with new positions, types of stimulation (feathers, fur, heated oils) locations, lube, play things, restraints etc. Intimate play is an exquisite time for discovery, fun experimentation, trust building and being fully present with your partner.…not to mention the great health benefits. So get busy letting those walls and inhibitions down and ramping sex energy and curiosity up. Sex is a birth right and is as natural as breathing and sleeping.
- Biology at its best – trust and connection are increased and reinforced with simple or focused touch. It has been shown that Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) is released and the orbital frontal cortex (reward center) is stimulated when we touch. Physical contact also relieves stress and lowers blood pressure. This is likely why mates who maintain a healthy sex life or physical intimacy tend to be more enduring and happier couples.
- Respect him / Cherish her: studies show that men need to feel respected by partners to be vibrant, vigorous and happy. Women need to feel cherished and want their lover to nurture their relationship as much as they do. Absence of these sentiments leads to resentment, dissatisfaction and one person feeling less loved than the other. We may want to periodically look in the mirror to self-check that your behavior deserves respect and cherishing.
- Go shopping: Nope, not for gifts, for pleasure: sex toy shopping – it’s time to be open-minded, playful and wholly experimental. Go online if you are bashful (goodvibrations.com or edenfantasy.com) or to a good quality sex toy store so you can get some sound advice. Practice sexual health and Intimate Fitness ™ by maintaining your blossoming collection of playthings and clean them with AfterGlow toy/personal tissues.
Have fun rediscovering each other or simply deepening your connection.
Images by: rickquotes.com
These ideas are really helpful, I’ll try them.
I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!